Top 10 Reasons Conan Hasn’t Reached Out To Me Yet
- He has no idea who I am or that I want to make contact with him.
- He’s received correspondences from me and has judged me to be insane and therefore a threat to him/his loved ones.
- My false memories are right and he really did kidnap me when I was five and is worried the truth will come out.
- We really do have a telepathic connection and he’s worried the truth will come out.
- I’m blacklisted for an offensive joke I made in 2011.
- He’s really in love with me and doesn’t want to betray his wife/kids.
- He’s too busy.
- He doesn’t want to be seen with a fat person.
- He thinks I’m boring/dumb and we’ll have nothing to talk about.
- He just plain doesn’t want to.
I came up with that list last night when I was trying to get to sleep. I ended up reading until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.
Today I’m going hiking with Zazu and perhaps M. I’m a little worried because yesterday I went for a long walk around my neighbourhood with Zazu and by the time I got home I had “an impending intestinal requirement” that I failed to execute in the correct place at the correct time. It was gross. And impressive. Anyway, there are no portapotties where we’re going so hopefully I don’t have the same problem.
Rosie, my sisters dog, is getting old and sick. There may be water in her lungs which means he heart is shutting down. She doesn’t have much time. And we just put Raffi down at 14. It sucks. But we got these dogs around the same time so now we’re losing them around the same time. Gotta enjoy the time we do have.
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